5 Double Shots of Life

1. Friends tend to be enemies in disguise. So over the years I have learned the hard way to keep these numbers small. I make this the 1st shot of life because these people I have acknowledged as friends have screwed me over in more ways then one. I need to work on recognizing people who aren't healthy additions to my life and future. But that's far from an easy task.

2. Family Shot 2 stronger than the first and here begins the drunkenness. I have never really known the true definition of this. I see on television where families go on vacation and have family reunions and everybody keeps in touch. In the words of my teammates......"Where they do that at?" My family is larger but typically the ones I'm close to are that raised me. I find myself jealous of people who talk about hanging out with their siblings and having family reunions every couple summers. My family has never had that and I've never been able to enjoy the company of all my siblings at once. It low key hurts but that's the way the cookie crumbles..

3.Failure- This shot is the like the shot that will either end your night or build your tolerance. Failure has done both to me. At times I have felt that I had failed my self and their was no coming back from the hole I had dug myself. In the midst of my trials I learned that failure is a option. Opposite of the common quote that people call themselves living by at times. I learned this from one of my inspirations and never completely understood the power of the quote until I found myself feeling like a failure in college. In the beginning of my collegiate journey I found myself wondering what I was doing in college. I thought that I couldn't possibly be in the right place. Maybe I was only in college because it sounded good to tell people I attended a University. It all sounded good until I thought about my situation and realized I am the key to my future and everything that I did was a result of me, the words I spoke the actions I did and how I played the cards that were dealt to me. Thank God for my inspiration L'Tanya Lemon who taught me that "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail." Learning these words as a young teen was only the beginning. Facing life's trials showed me how I was the "master of my fate" and failure was and will always be an option if I show not to give me all. Thank Ms. Lemon~ August 8, 1949~ November 23, 2006

4.Critics this shot of life sits in a shot glass made of rust with a serving of ground glass. Or at least that's what it appears when seen. Criticism is healthy for the molding of our lives. But it always seems like my critics only want to hurt me instead of help me. Criticism is another part of life I have had to take and run with. But I have learned all criticism isn't good criticism and some people are really coming at you to disrespect you. My most recent dosage of criticism was spoken to me telling that I was a garbage athlete. The author if this criticism is well thanked for the words he gave me or more so texted me. I really appreciate a this form a criticism I receive it every now and again and love it. It reminds me of every person who ever told me I couldn't accomplish a trial in my life! Now on to the next one.

5.Dreams are the final shot which is suppose to make me fall to my knees. This shot has seemed like more than I can handle. In this Shot lies a mixture of every shot taken and then some. My dreams are only for me to understand because only I can live them. The end result may be victory if I don't overwhelm myself with the search of success. The road to my dreams throws humps of defeat to break me down and I accept it thinking I must allow myself to be broken to be built back up. Thank God I've grown since the beginning of my journey. I've learned you can't rebuild which is not complete. A shot a dreams is never ending high in which we learn to push for more than we could have ever imagined to come true.


10 total shots of life taken standing. Because sitting down in life never took anyone no where besides the men and women in the civil rights movement. I learn through these shots I take every day that the effects of life can be harmful, but only if we allow it.

The Point Of It All/There's Hope

Well my blogs I guess will mostly be based around song titles. So today's blog is entitled "The Point Of It All" As of now I'm not sure if this will be a regular blog or another poetry entry. Maybe I'll give you a little bit of both. Lets see what happens........

In my own thoughts I realize I never finished my "There Hope" blog. So I think I will tie the blog together. There's Hope was originally created for a couple of my friends that I realized were going through different personal problems. I dedicated the blog to those friends but got too tied up in my own current problems.

So finally....There's Hope!! Hope because without out it we would all be insane. Hope because our understanding of life is based off the hope that there's an after life. And finally hope because in my own words, "There's always HOPE..when you DREAM and BELIEVE!"

Hope to me is the belief that when all else fails you must be patient with the circumstance you are facing. Surrounded by hope lies faith, prayer and wisdom. As humans we lose sight of many things in life because we lack this four letter word. We give up so easily when life sends us on a roller coaster to hell to and back! But we're only human, so when we are faced with life trials we forget first and foremost to guard our hearts with faith. We forget that most circumstances no matter there outcome builds us into stronger men and women despite the tears and fears we face. We were never guaranteed perfect lives so we must understand that every aspect of life is a growing experience and from this we lead hope driven lives.


Hope is not a tear and far from a fear
Hope is what lies inside when no one else is near
Hope is the understanding that life is a seed
Hope is the understanding that every seed has needs
Hope is faith driven by prayer for change
Hope is what keeps sane people from going deranged

Dreams are whats produced when only we believe
Dreams are what sometimes no one else can see
Dreams are what we carry every minute of the day
Dreams are what we accomplish meaning when we pray



And well readers this is the point of it all! I guess next blog will actually entitled "The Point of All"

Poetry Of A Dying Heart

Drowning
Drowning in a puddle constucted of tears
Burning
Burning in a house engulfed in fears

Death of a spirit built to manifest in hope
Nothing left, similar to a city ruined from dope
Death of soul no longer yearning
Nothing left, but deep emotions churning
Tears of saddness belonging to broken souls
Surrounded by critics thrashing dreams with poles
Enemies breaking down creations
Tears ring from a distance with screaming vibrations

What will come of thee?
For nothingness is what lies inside of me
See the verdicts of my nightmares
Why so deep I lay in dispair
All because life was never fair
In my eyes you may gaze and stare

There's Hope

Hebrews 11:1-3 "Now Faith is the Substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by the elders obtained a good testimony. By faith we understand that the world were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible."

"Hope" = Greek word, pistis, which means to have an expectancy in God

The way its looking so far a majority of my first couple blogs will deal with India Arie songs. Her songs just speak profound words that for some reason alway deal with my current situations. I chose "There's Hope" for todays blog for many different reasons. I have quite a few friends going through life struggles right now and in the midst of there trials I try to remind them that there's hope. I am no bible scholar...actually i'm far from it. But like certain songs scriptures stick out to me.

When I myseld think of "Hope" I think of my life struggle. Inside of me is a child still waiting to play with the neighborhood kids, but I have already been forced to grow up and see the world. My understanding of lifes trials seemed to come to early. I faced it all as a child and as much as my family tried to hide it...well I still understood. I think my biggest trial thus far is my mother. Few people know my mother has been on drugs pretty much all my life, and she has had a few mental problems. I have reached the point in my life where I don't want to really even communicate much with her as she continues to throw her life away. I find myself jealous of the drugs that my mother has used...for the simple reason that they have been in her life more then she's been in mine. As I think of my mother constantly everyday I have to remind myself of hope.

When I think of how I place hope into definition of my own I believe its understanding and faith. The problem is I have lost faith over the years in the woman who gave birth to me...and its something that may never be built back up. I know hope is building stronger inside of me.... but I think I rather give hope to people than use my own...i'm going to work on it!!

Well I have writers block! I will have to make a part II of this blog. I have so much more to say!

Strength, Courage and Wisdom

As people we degrade each other as if we were God ourselves. Funny how some people don't understand the words they speak and the effects they have on people. I had my craft disrespected a few days ago and the person probably has no idea how much they pissed me off. But before I reacted inappropriately I gathered my thoughts and ignored the comment.
From this situation I name my first blog Strength, Courage and Wisdom. A song written by India Arie in which she says Strength, Courage and Wisdom...it has been inside of me all along. I sat and listened to this song for the first time yesterday and have fallen in love with it. It speaks volumes when I compare it to my life. I always thought I lacked courage as a child and even in my adult life. My biggest fear lies in getting in front of people and speaking. I've found my face flushed with nervousness and bright red from the fear of speaking in front of people. What I have found now is that the courage to speak lies inside of me. I have always had the art of expression inside of me I just never realized that I could do what I fear.
Wisdom.... I am twenty years young but compare my thoughts and ideas to those who have lived before and those who will live after me. I compare my thoughts to the greatest philosphers acknowledging the fact that I may never go down in history like these philosophers but at least all my inner thoughts won't be buried with me and never be revealed. So I give honor to this blog and thanks to Ciara Pierce whose wisdom I have admired for a couple years now. She is the reason I finally stepped out to do this blog.
Finally strength! I didn't know I possessed my strength until my Junior year of high school when my Grandmother passed away. Inside I knew my life was over. I crashed down and tumbled in grief, but then realized my grandmother had not raised me to be any less than great. Understanding my grandmothers death was point in my life for me to grow helped me realize that I had crashed down...and I had tumbled but I couldn't let lifes hurdles make me crumble. While fear stood in my heart I still grew through my experience and found that my strength was own backbone when no hope was left.
So here I sit a Junior in college through the grace of God, family and friends and the discovery of my own Strength, Courage and Wisdom.


Thanks for reading my blog!!