Random Thoughts from a Random Person...uhhh me!

So i did one blog about 20 minutes ago...but there's so much more stored inside of me...so

1. I'm fed up with the "thug mentality" on my campus? Sometimes it makes me feel like I picked the wrong University....but I know better than that! Oh how I love my K-State! I just wish more people would realize the opportunity they have and calm down. I heard in a sermon that the cemetery is the richest place on earth. And indeed it is! Just think about how many people died without releasing the song they had stored in their hearts. How many artists never drew the picture they always envisioned and how many scientists never revealed their discoveries. I look at the students who attend my University the same. So much knowledge walks around this campus. But the main concern doesn't seem to be around exposing it but instead about what city your from and who's screwing who. #EpicFail
2. Beauty- in my words a value that can not be found, what everyone possesses and the most misunderstood term in history. I wish more young ladies across this campus would relate. Instead beauty is what they wait for guys to tell them.
3. KSU- I realized how in love I am with this school yesterday. Yes it has many ups and downs...but I love this place! I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. The friends, the memories and the future! How I love my KState! I had a first hand experience a student disrespecting the University just yesterday! I realized that I am both nuts and in love with this place. Forget all you who hate it here and wish to transfer. Bye!
4. Lifes Journey=Weird I can't even describe what the heck is going on in my life right now. Random outbursts, extreme sarcasm, fear of failure, the pursuit of happiness and love. All of this going on at once is troublesome at times. I'm not sure how everything arrived at once but I guess I'm experiencing my almost 21 life crisis. Yep I said it. Almost 21 life crisis....praying that I make it to my birthday without an emotional breakdown.
5. Love - I guess I have to put this one in here. My current situation is awkward to say the least. I find myself in the situation of being emotionally attracted to two guys at once. I realize that battling an emotional love life is hazardous to my academics so I'm going back to step one. Hi, My name is Fatimah....Fatimah Shabazz.
6. Friendship- I don't know who is who anymore. There's some snakes in the grass though. Then there's those friends with burdens that I'm trying to help carry. Sometime I want to remind them that I'm not God, but then I realize may have placed me in their lives for guidance or at least to be there leader. We lack these type of people now days.
7. Pain- everyday is pain ...everyday is rain. Don't mean to sound so emotional....but my Sunshine's always consist of a cloud or two. It reminds me that this thing called life isn't meant to be perfect. But mostly we have to shed tears some time.
8. The Next Chapter- there's a part of my life that I wonder if it will ever exist. I want it so bad...but lately I seem like a human rope being tugged back and forth between decisions and understanding!

Beautiful Flower

Beauty was her name
Until she stood at the fork in the world and chose fame
Stuck with the thought she had no beauty
Forgetting her beauty more powerful than a star gate lily
She chose to be a rose because of its outside appeal
But outside beauty couldn't measure to the lies when time stood still
feelings scrambled
her life in shambles
or at least that's what she told me

Inside her are hidden dreams
her heart is river of sadness and streams
Stuck at a stand still she keeps giving up
How can her friends help her ...if she don't give a fuck
she's out here grinding...or at least that's what she's telling them
inside she's really dieing....because giving up has become her best friend
she said she's going to work it out...or at least that's what she told me

Poetic Injustice

The hearts definition of love is sweetness
minds surrounded by weakeness
love never gaurenteed understanding
just blind lies from constant planning

Spirit weak emotionally
built from brokeness we stare blankingly
love never gaurenteed

Random Blog

Sometimes i wanna be my friends umbrella when the rain is pouring....but its hard trying to lead and guide when there playing in storms...

Theres times I want to always be there for every tear shed....every heartache and heart break...but I can't when cold shoulders push me away....

I want to tell you to stop looking to others for your beauty....man is not a mirror.....and there thoughts are not your reflection.....

Sometimes I just stop and bow my head....prayer seems to be my only understanding these days....

Theres times I only pray for you....because I know life has been a battle scene....

I want to tell you everything....but what there is ....lies more within...

Sometimes I wish I spill the beans....holding back makes me a terrible friend....for there's times I should have told you hell no....what the fuck are you doing....and so so....but now all I can tell you is good luck...you my friend have messed up....but who am I to judge your judement....